


How Can I Hurt When I'm Holding You?

by iam93percentstardust



Series: Eyes Turned Skyward [5]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - BDSM, Alternate Universe - Wings, Dom Bucky Barnes, M/M, Massage, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Non-Sexual Submission, Sub Tony Stark, Subspace
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-04
Updated: 2020-05-04
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:09:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,830
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24004882
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iam93percentstardust/pseuds/iam93percentstardust
Summary: Tony's been undercover for a month, without contact from either his team or his dom. He's lonely and miserable and all Bucky wants to do is take care of him. He can't do that through a computer screen but when they're finally together again? All bets are off.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Tony Stark
Series: Eyes Turned Skyward [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1629319
Comments: 20
Kudos: 482
Collections: StarkBucksBingo2020





	How Can I Hurt When I'm Holding You?

**Author's Note:**

> Title: How Can I Hurt When I'm Holding You?  
> Collaborator Name: iam93percentstardust  
> Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24004882  
> Square Filled: O1 - Undercover in a Gay Bar  
> Ship/Main Pairing: Winteriron  
> Rating: M  
> Major Tags & Triggers: NSFW  
> Summary: Tony's been undercover for a month, without contact from either his team or his dom. He's lonely and miserable and all Bucky wants to do is take care of him. He can't do that through a computer screen but when they're finally together again? All bets are off.  
> Word Count: 2830

The last month has been hard for Tony.

Subs are used to frequent contact. When the team hadn’t known about Tony’s orientation, he had gotten it by being generally tactile, claiming it a quirk of his personality. Now that they all know, however, he’s still just as tactile but it’s different now. Before, Tony had to content himself with brief touches to his teammates’ arms, the stereotypical bro hug, and sometimes had had to make do with sparring practice. These days though, he waltzes into the living room and stretches out across the couch, throwing his feet into Steve’s lap for massages. On movie nights, he always sits behind either Natasha or Thor so he can play with their hair, and Clint, another sub, is always willing to cuddle with him.

The team, of course, pays it back in full. Steve never complains about rubbing Tony’s feet. Natasha always makes sure that she and Tony trade places after he’s done with her hair so she can do his. Clint seeks Tony out just as much as Tony looks for him.

And then there’s Bucky. Bucky, if he’s in the same room as his sub, always has at least one hand on Tony, whether it’s on his knees or holding his hand or…somewhere more private. He’s always up for kisses, for gentle reassurances, for making sure that Tony knows that, no matter his orientation, he is loved.

That’s why the last month has been so hard.

SHIELD had contacted them a month ago, telling them about a suspected trafficking ring out of a gay bar in Queens. Submissive servers go missing with alarming frequency, usually after being invited into the back rooms by one of the bar’s two owners. This sort of mission wouldn’t usually be passed off to the team, would usually be handled by the feds, but there have been three failed raids on the bar and they’re worried that another one might make the ring change locations.

Natasha’s there right now, undercover and using something Bruce had cooked up to make her seem like a sub. She had needed a partner though, a true submissive in case the owners saw through her disguise. The original plan had involved sending Clint with her but Clint had broken his leg during the last mission and as the only other sub on the team, the job had fallen to Tony.

Tony’s miserable. In order to make it seem less suspicious, he hadn’t been allowed to stay either at the tower or with Natasha. He’s allowed no contact with the team other than an encrypted video chat once a week to update them on his progress and as a server, the patrons aren’t allowed to touch him.

The last time they had seen Tony through the video chat, he’d looked exhausted and wan and stressed. It was clear that the weeks without any sort of touch, after months of being cuddled and petted whenever he wanted, were taking his toll. Clint had cooed at him, promising cuddles as soon as he got back but he'd only perked up a little bit.

"Bucky,” he’d whined as soon as the others had left the chat.

“I know, baby doll,” Bucky had said soothingly, worried over how his sub looked. He ached to be there beside him, holding him close. “Tomorrow.”

He’s inside the bar now, sitting on one of the stools. Steve is somewhere around, Sam on the dancefloor, and Thor is laughing with a bachelorette party that must have wandered in here by mistake because he can’t imagine why else they’re in a gay bar. Bucky has been asked to dance twice but he refuses both times, too distracted by the sight of Tony, looking endlessly sad as he drops off drinks. Now that he’s actually in the same room as his sub, he can see that Tony must have dropped sometime toward the beginning of the month and never fully recovered.

He isn’t sure if Tony has seen him yet but he doesn’t want to try to catch his attention and risk someone else seeing as well, even if it would be near impossible for anyone to put together the sigh of Tony right now with Tony Stark, the Golden Avenger. Shaving his beard had lost nearly ten years off his face and one of SHIELD’s special masks makes him look even younger. His wings are dyed a less vibrant shade though they’re still very obviously hummingbird wings, even if they are drenched in spilled beer and pressed tight against Tony’s back instead of flaring out at every single insult.

“Nat,” he murmurs into his comm, “tell me that Tony can clock out soon.”

The next person who sneers at Tony is going to get Bucky’s fist to his face. Tony isn’t wearing a comm unit as Nat is convinced that he’s the next target and it would be too conspicuous for him to be outfitted with a comm so he doesn’t know what the team is saying or even if they’re in the building yet.

The rest of the team knows, however, that Tony clocking out for the night is the signal for them to move in and Bucky is waiting for that on baited breath, ready for this mission to be _over_ so he can take his Tony home.

Over by the bachelorette party, Nat murmurs, “Five minutes.”

“Buck, we’re going to trade you out with Nat on this mission,” Steve suddenly says. “Tony needs you more than we do. When he clocks out, take him home.”

Bucky almost wants to argue that he doesn’t need to be benched but then he takes another look at Tony, at the way his wings are drooping, and decides that it’s not about him. “Much appreciated, Cap,” he says under his breath.

When Tony finally heads to the back, Bucky follows him, making sure to keep a close distance in case anyone else is following him as well. Tony is putting things away in a locker as he wipes glitter off his face. If possible, he looks even more exhausted back here.

“Hey, baby doll,” Bucky says quietly.

Tony doesn’t even startle, just pauses in cleaning his face before turning to Bucky. “You’re here,” he whispers.

“I am,” he agrees. He holds out a hand. “Come on. You don’t wanna be here when Thor’s hammer starts swinging.”

Tony smiles tiredly and takes his hand, perking up a little at the skin on skin contact. Bucky tugs him in so that his sub is pressed right up against him. They leave through the back entrance, Tony sheltered by his body.

“Cap, we’re free,” Bucky says as soon as they’re out of the alley. He hails a cab and ushers Tony into it before climbing in after him. “Comms going dark.”

“Heard,” Steve says shortly. Bucky reaches up and removes the earpiece. He drops it into his shirt pocket and then reaches for Tony again.

Tony slumps against him, left hand clenching and unclenching on his leg. Bucky picks it up in both of his, one hand to cradle it and one to draw little designs on his palm. He can feel Tony relax little by little during the drive, the time passing in silence. He can see the driver look back at them a couple times worriedly but he never asks and Bucky is quick to smile reassuringly at him. He’ll take care of his sub, nothing to worry about.

They reach the tower and Tony looks like he’s doing better but he’s still not down so Bucky leads him from the car, hand in hand. “Glad to see you back, Mister Stark,” the doorman says as he stands aside for them.

Even as tired as he is, Tony takes a moment to shake his hand and say, “Glad to be back, Robert. How’s Maggie? She had her birthday this month, right? I’m sorry I missed it.”

Robert nods. “I’ll show you the pictures tomorrow, sir, if that’s alright with you. You look like you could use some sleep.”

“I’ll have you fired for that,” Tony teases, no heat to his words.

Robert just smiles indulgently at him and says, “As you’ve been saying for twenty years, sir.”

They continue on inside. Bucky leads them to the elevators and says, “I didn’t think you felt up to flying tonight.”

He knows that that’s what Tony usually prefers, to use the special foyer to fly up to the penthouse instead of the slower elevator, but Tony’s wings are sticky with beer and anything else that might have happened in the bar that night, which isn’t a safe way to flight even if Tony were at his best and tonight, he’s decidedly not. Tony doesn’t argue, just lets Bucky lead him into the elevator.

Bucky stands behind him, rubbing out some of the tension in his shoulders. Tony is still relaxing but he hasn’t yet dropped into subspace. That’s okay though. Bucky’s got a plan to get him there before the night is over.

He leads his sub into the bedroom and undresses him, letting Tony steady himself with his hands on his shoulders as he kneels and slides the shorts down his legs. The bar had made Tony shave his legs for this and while Bucky disapproves of the bar dictating how he looks, he wonders if he can talk Tony into shaving more often. The smooth silkiness of his legs would be driving Bucky to distraction if he weren’t so focused on taking care of Tony. It’s something that he wants to explore again.

He stands back up, running his hands up Tony’s legs and sides as he goes, taking the shirt with him. Once Tony is completely undressed, Bucky picks him up. Tony wraps his legs around his waist, his arms around Bucky’s neck, and rests pliantly against his shoulder as he’s carried into the bathroom.

Tony is set down on the toilet as Bucky starts the shower. Usually, he’d try to get Tony into the bath but he’d rather have him in their bed instead and the shower takes less time and trust. They’ll bath together tomorrow after Tony is feeling better.

Once the water is hot enough, he strips down as well, leaving his clothes in a heap on the floor, and pulls Tony into the shower with him. He doesn’t bother with the sponge, lathering up his hands instead to scrub the glitter and beer and sweat off their bodies. He tries not to be rough but glitter is tough in the best of times and with Tony acting like putty in his hands and generally being unhelpful, he sometimes has to pin Tony against the wall—heating, of course; Tony wouldn’t stand for cold shower walls—to hold him still as he scrubs hard at his arms and legs.

As they’re getting out, he quietly says, “JARVIS, the lavender tonight, please?”

“Of course, Sergeant,” JARVIS replies in a hushed tone. Bucky shakes his head as he dries Tony off. It never ceases to amaze him how much humanity Tony installed into his creation.

When he carries Tony back into the bedroom, Tony half-asleep against his shoulder, the room smells faintly of lavender, piped in through unseen vents in the walls. He starts to lay Tony out on the bed and then stops.

“Baby doll, are you good on your stomach?” he asks, trying hard not to sound like he’ll judge him whatever his answer may be.

Tony squirms out of his arms, landing on the bed with a bounce, and rolls onto his stomach. Bucky bites back a laugh. “I guess that answers that question.”

He carefully adjusts Tony’s wings, making sure that they’re out of the way for what he has in mind. Even just letting them stretch gets Tony sinking into the blankets with a soft mew of pleasure. Bucky pauses, wondering just how long it’s been since Tony last had the chance to stretch his wings.

He reaches for a small pot of warming oil on the nightstand—chamomile to help Tony relax further. He had set it out before leaving for the mission, suspecting that they would need it by the end of the night. JARVIS must have turned on the heater when they were in the shower. It’s not uncommon for JARVIS to do but it’s still thoughtful and he makes a note to tell the AI thank you once Tony is settled.

Bucky spreads the oil on his hands before straddling Tony’s back. He starts at his shoulders, digging his fingers into the tense muscles, trying to massage out the knots he finds. Tony stiffens for half a second before he melts into the bed, purring his pleasure.

“That’s it,” Bucky whispers. “You’re going down so sweetly for me.”

He stays on Tony’s shoulders until the sub is completely relaxed. When he leans over to check Tony’s eyes, he finds them half-closed and glazed over but there’s still a small spark of lucidity to them. Bucky isn’t surprised. Tony goes down easily for him but those aren’t usually times when he’s been gone for a month without any sort of purposeful touch.

Moving down to Tony’s arms, he massages first the left arm, right down to the tension in his fingers, and then the right. Tony mews with every relaxed knot but it’s never in pain. Bucky knows exactly the right amount of pressure to use on the delicate fingers. He moves back up to his back, checks in with him again—still not down but almost there—and starts in on his back, by far the worst offender.

His wing joints are swollen and knotted. When he runs even a single finger across the joints, Tony voices his displeasure with a small pained noise. Bucky clucks sympathetically. Tony must be in an awful amount of pain but he hasn’t said a single word about it.

“There’s no need to be strong with me, baby doll,” he whispers. He presses a kiss to the swollen joints before gently starting to massage them. “I’ve gotcha.”

The joints take time and care and he spends long minutes working on them, trying to avoid both being overly painful and the small gland at the base of the joints, the one that Bucky likes to stimulate when he’s fucking him. This isn’t the time, even if his own cock protests being ignored. He dares anyone to stay soft when they’ve got a naked, pliant Tony beneath them.

He pours more oil on his hands and shifts down, straddling Tony’s legs now, so he can massage out the tension in his lower back. He avoids his pert butt entirely for the same reason he’d avoided the gland in his wings. Tony gets too excited when he massages his ass and Bucky doesn’t want to be starting something when he’s already got him relaxed and quiet. By the time, he gets started on Tony’s legs, Tony is making a nonstop purring noise low in the back of his throat. Bucky isn’t sure if it’s because of the touch or the massage but either way, it has him smiling. Tony only ever makes that sound when he’s completely blissed out and close to falling asleep.

He finishes with Tony’s legs and reaches over to the nightstand to grab a washcloth for his hands and a second one to wipe his sub down. Tony hums happily as Bucky cleans off the excess oil.

“You want the blankets tonight?” Bucky asks as he puts the washcloth back on the table. Sometimes, after a massage, Tony doesn’t mind waking up sticky because the blankets have stuck to whatever oil is left over. Most of the time though, he just asks for the temperature to be turned up a bit and sleeps without the blankets.

True to Bucky’s expectation, Tony shakes his head. “Okay,” Bucky agrees. “J?”

JARVIS doesn’t respond, seeming as unwilling to disturb Tony as Bucky is, but he can feel slightly warmer air coming in from the vents and he knows that the AI heard him. Bucky starts to lay back down only to pause when he sees Tony, all but a puddle on the bed, eyes already half-closed and closing more with each second. He looks relaxed, content, and sated; Bucky can’t imagine a more perfect sight.

He loves him, he realizes. It’s something that he’s known for a long time but it’s always been a passing thought. It’s never struck him like it does now. He loves Tony, completely, wholeheartedly, with the kind of love that the poets write about, the kind that leaves you breathless and aching. For him, no matter what the future holds for them, there will never be another.

Tony is nearly asleep now and so, when Bucky, lays down next to him, tucking him into his arms, he feels safe whispering, “I love you.”

He can’t be sure but he thinks Tony smiles.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to Stella at therollingstonys for the title suggestion!


End file.
